Running a detective agency isn’t easy. For one thing, you have to choose a name. For another, you have to find employees and collect dues.
My sister Michele and I started our own detective agency when we were kids. Our first order of business: naming the agency. Michele proposed MichCar, but I told her that MichCar sounds stupid. So we went with CarMich.
Our second order of business: collection of dues. Dues were important, as we were sure we would need to fund something or other. After cobbling together six dollars, we realized that running a detective agency wasn’t as easy as it seems and that we needed more dues in order to fund the unidentified necessary things.
Thus, our third order of business: bringing employees onboard. We invited a few neighborhood kids to work at the agency. The employee vetting process went like this: Do you have three dollars? Fantastic! Welcome to the CarMich Detective Agency.
Running a Detective Agency
The CarMich Detective Agency had a name, employees, and funding. What we didn’t have were clients. We fixed that by pressuring one of our employees, Kelli, to hire us to find money in her house so she could buy snacks at the 7-Eleven.
To forestall the possibility of non-payment for services rendered, we took Kelli’s one dollar payment up front. We then combed through her house in search of bills and coins. After a thorough 30-minute search, we turned over the eighty-five cents we found in sofa cushions. Kelli seemed satisfied, but her older sister, Kerri, seemed to think Kelli had gotten a raw deal. Kerri, who was also one of our employees, made such a stink about it that we were forced to fire her.
A few days later, Kerri decided she wanted to rejoin the CarMich Detective Agency. After she handed over three more dollars, we welcomed her back with open arms.
Check Out Tea, Tonic, and Toxin
Don’t fret, readers — I’ll share more stories about the CarMich Detective Agency in future posts …
Until then, let me ask this: Are you into mysteries? You are? Right on. Check out my book club and podcast, Tea, Tonic, and Toxin, which I launched with my friend Sarah Harrison. We’re reading and discussing the best of the best mysteries and thrillers, starting in the nineteenth century and moving forward.