Hiring and Firing R Us

Looking to hire or fire someone? Try Hiring and Firing R Us. It’s run by Ally, whose youth and inexperience are offset by sheer determination.

My youngest niece, Ally, recently started her own company. I’m calling it Hiring and Firing R Us. I know she’s starting her own company because I helped her set up the brick-and-mortar office space, which happens to double as her bedroom. We hit Goodwill and got a fantastic desk for $30, an industrial desk lamp for $7, and fun streamer lighting for $2.50. We also found a rattan bookcase and two rattan guest chairs on Craigslist.

Ally’s taking business ownership seriously. A sign on her door tells visitors to knock or, better yet, call for an appointment. “Allison Davis’ office, Ally speaking.” That’s what she says when she answers the home phone. She claims that I instructed her to answer the phone in this way. I don’t recall having done so, but that does sort of sound like me. I’m chock full of good advice.

When pressed to describe the work she performs, Ally explains that she hires and fires people. Case in point: She hired and then fired her friend Lauren just the other day. The only potential problem: her company doesn’t currently offer any products or services other than the hiring and firing.

When I was a kid, I remember being asked what my father did for a living. (“He goes to work. Duh.”) I had no idea what “work” meant, though I was pretty sure his work had something to do with lightbulbs. Or maybe light switches. My friends didn’t know what their mothers or fathers did for a living either. Except Dave Hanson. His dad was a cop. See? That’s the kind of job kids can wrap their brains around. Adults too.

Right out of college, I was hired as a product information systems analyst. That was my actual title. Looking back, I’m still not sure what I did for a living back then. (Thank God I have the clarity I need now.) Really, though, far be it for me to tell Ally that her business mission needs some work. Her business is humming along just fine, thank you very much.