Denver Saturday edition – Yeah, you’re in for all kinds of special today. You get a Saturday post. Just cause. You can thank me later.
When I showed up to Regis University to wrap Christmas presents for homeless kids, the wrapping had already been completed. They’d finished two hours early. Snap.
“Are you on a work release program?” a listless gum-chewer asked me. “Cause if you’re on work release, you have to stick around.” Um, no. And also, holy mother of God. I so have not been counting my blessings of late. Exit stage left.
And now I have two free hours in my day for the first time in approximately fourteen years.
So far today I’ve grocery shopped at the UnSafeway, thrown out two more bags of stuff (thereby whittling down my stuff to approximately three items total), cooked broccoli casserole to serve at a stew-off, tore around town on my one-speed cruiser bike, rocked out some client work, watched an ep. of Parks and Recreation, and almost finished two crossword puzzles. And it’s only 2:15 pm. Oh yeah. This is a big day.
I can’t remember the capital of Cameroon. Or maybe I never knew it. And I can’t look it up because it’s a clue in crossword puzzle #2. Worse, now I want to go to Cameroon, but the thing is that I can’t even hit up some slapdash research on Wikipedia because I’m sure the capital will be up top in big, bold letters. So I’m going to research Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, and Bhutan instead. Four countries that have nothing to do with Cameroon and that are located in a different continent altogether. That’s what you get, Cameroon, for being so wily and having such a hard-to-guess capital. No tourist dollars from me.
This has been your Denver Saturday edition.