A couple years ago, three of my bikes were stolen in one shebang. Yep. three. One was my beloved bright orange Felt cruiser named Claire.
A couple days later on the way to Crema Coffee I saw the thieves on two of the bikes. I tried to corner them and tore after one on foot. They sped away.
A week later I was driving down a neighborhood street and saw one of the three bikes leaning against a fence. Two guys were chatting nearby. I got out of my car, locked the door for good measure, ran over to the bike, and bat out of hell’d it home. The two guys screamed and put up a minimal chase. I returned later to get my car.
A month or so later I met friends for a cocktail in Cherry Creek and saw my Claire parked outside. It had on it — I KID YOU NOT — a bell with the words “ride it like you stole it.” (That insane deal “ride it like you stole it” got on my awesome cruiser from her local pawn shop? It’s no mystery. It’s called stolen merch.) I met up with my friends briefly, then ran back outside in the hopes of coming face to face with the bike’s “owner.” But the bike was already gone.
And then something truly shocking happened. The pawn broker got caught. See, it’s illegal to deal in stolen merchandise. If you can’t prove you own the bike, the broker’s not supposed to buy it from you.
As a result I’m being reimbursed in monthly payments. This is my fifth check from the District Court of Denver. I have no idea how long I’ll continue to get these checks — no one has sent me a payment schedule or anything like that. It would take about 12-14 years for the guy to actually pay me what the bikes were worth, and I seriously doubt I’ll still be getting checks into 2028. But the $36.55 I’ve received so far? At least it’s something.