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Denver Fire Clay Loft Chronicles

Denver Fire Clay Loft Chronicles -

Just another car alarm-filled night at RiNo Denver Fire Clay Lofts wherein it turns out that it’s not Angela’s fault that she owns a Lexus.

A car alarm is going off right now. It’s 8:10 a.m., and that thing’s been sounding for a good three minutes. My neighborhood is full of alarmed cars. It’s circa 1989 here at Denver Fire Clay Lofts. Gah.

Last night around 2 a.m., a car alarm went off in the parking lot below. For 15 enjoyable minutes. Just so’s you know, when a car alarm passes the 10-minute mark, the beeping speeds up, something akin to a frenetic Bee Gees CPR backbeat. By the 10-minute mark, even the car alarm is like, “Sweet baby Jesus, why is this happening? Will someone shut me off please?”

Well, 15 minutes into Night Fever someone called Angela began squealing in the parking lot.

Angela: Oh my God, my car, why is the alarm going off?!?!

Angela’s Friend: I don’t know. Turn it off, Angela.

Angela: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!

Angela’s Friend: Turn it off, Angela.

Angela: What if somebody was trying to steal it? Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!

C [yelling from up above]: I’m going to steal it myself if you don’t shut that thing off.

Angela: Oh my God, someone is going to steal my car!

Guy #1 [yelling from a condo window]: I’m going to watch her steal it and tell the police I didn’t see a thing.

Guy #2 [yelling from another condo window]: I’m going to make it my personal goal to rob you in the next five minutes if you don’t shut it off.

Angela: I can’t find my keys! Maybe they were stolen!

Guy #1: That makes sense. That’s probably what happened.

Guy #2: I am so going to rob you, Angela, honest to God.

Angela’s Friend: Look in your purse.

Angela: Oh my God, it’s hard to focus with all the beeping and yelling!

Everybody at Denver Fire Clay Lofts: Shut that damn thing off!

[Angela finally locates her car keys and shuts off the car alarm.]

Angela: Why is everyone being so mean to me? I should be the one who’s upset! All these people are threatening me, and my car was almost stolen, and RiNo is completely unsafe! It’s not my fault I drive a Lexus!

Yet another case of accidental Lexus ownership. It’s sort of tragic when you think about it.

2 Responses

  1. Carolyn,
    I enjoyed this one, and several other of the posts in the “Day in the Life” category.

    I was, alas, reminded of the time that I was the unwitting “Angela” in this story (wince!). In my case, I had rented a car and had no idea it had an alarm (there was nothing on the remote, they didn’t mention it to me, and I never turned anything on or off other than the ignition). In the middle of the night, it went off right outside the window of where I was staying (friend’s apartment in the DU neighborhood). I can sleep through anything, so I wasn’t awakened, but my friend was, and the morning, she said, “Oh my god! Did you hear that horrible car alarm that was going off all night?” I said I hadn’t and shortly thereafter when out to the car. It had maybe three nasty notes from neighbors stuck to it, and a card from the Denver Police explaining the brilliant thing which apparently they can do: they got into the car (must have used a slim jim), opened the hood, and removed the appropriate fuse. So…I’m just saying…next time this happens, maybe you could ask the police to do the same thing? I wouldn’t recommend doing it yourself, since you might be accused of trying to steal the car. 🙂

    1. Great story! It’s hysterical that the police removed a fuse from the car. You’d think the alarms would have be time delimited–why on earth they go on for hours is beyond me.

      I still sort of want to steal Angela’s car …

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