Common marketing missteps waste time and money. These 5 fixes are GAME CHANGERS.

Too Much Splenda and Not Too Much Else

too much splenda -

Thoughts about car alarms, eye makeup, the wrong zip code, pineapple pancake with rum butter, and what may turn out to be too much Splenda.

Four of my favorite things in the world are coffee, peanut butter toast, smoothies, and microwave popcorn. I’m anxiously awaiting the delivery of a coffeemaker, a toaster, a blender, and a microwave. All four are scheduled to arrive today from

Someone’s car alarm is going off. I’ve been hearing a lot of car alarms lately. It’s 2012, people. If I witnessed someone breaking into an alarmed car, I’d be their lookout. That’s what you get for having a car alarm in 2012.

The French word “parure” means “ornament” in English. I just looked it up. Now try saying “parure” with a French accent. It’s a tough one. Very gargly sounding.

My request for a third Splenda packet shouldn’t incite an eye-roll, Starbucks employee. I’m sorry to add to the stress of your job, but you shouldn’t worry about whether I’m using too much Splenda. Now, please just hand over the packet and be done with it. Rest assured that I’ll be brewing my own joe once my new coffeemaker arrives.

This morning a lady swerved across three lanes while applying eye shadow. Shocking, right? I mean, who even wears eye shadow anymore?

I’m trying to decide if Mad Men or The Sopranos is the best-written show ever. Probably a tie.

Yesterday the guys fixing up the house across the street from Joanne’s place were comparing the terms of their parole. My car was broken into/busted up on the street three times during the year I lived in Denver Highlands. Now my car is in a gated garage in another part of town, and my insurer hiked up my rate. It’s all about zip codes.

Panzano’s pineapple pancake with rum butter and coconut is out of this world. Best ever. I’m not generally a fan of pancakes, though I am a fan of rum. I have an allergy to coconut, and still I love this pancake.

Car alarms and an insufficient number of Splenda packets make me cranky. deliveries make me happy. It’s all about first-world problems. Ain’t first-world life grand?

Time to get to work. I’m going to stop sharing random shit with you now. You’re welcome.

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