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Starfleet Academy Is Stupid: 10 Things I’ve Learned About Star Trek: The Next Generation

starfleet academy is stupid - Star Trek the Next Generation -

Starfleet Academy is stupid, the Traveler is creepy, and Jean-Luc is super datable. Here are 10 things to know about Star Trek: The Next Generation.

  1. Space … the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. It’s continuing mission, to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no one has gone before. That’s right. “No one,” not “no man.” Holy mother of awesome.
  2. And speaking of awesome, it’s quite the diverse cast, especially for a late-80’s show. They’re definitely boldly going where few have gone before.
  3. Jean-Luc Picard doesn’t seem to do all that much, but he always manages to look wonderfully intense. I’ve seen only these two eps, but I assume he has lots of girlfriends.
  4. To become a Starfleet officer, one needs 4 years of Starfleet Academy schooling and 10 or so years of on-the-job-training. It’s not clear how this experience benefits anyone, as the boy (sometimes also called “Wesley”) is by far the smartest person on the ship. Starfleet Academy is stupid.
  5. Every time the boy opens his mouth, he’s told to shut up, which is bad news problem-solving-wise, and good news 30-minute-episode, continuing drama-wise.
  6. The boy favors a shoulder-padded mango-colored sweater with horizontal ruffles.
  7. Deanna Troi, Dr. Beverly Crusher, and the blonde with the pixie ‘do are all useless.
  8. The only thing anyone is good at is sitting still in their chairs and pushing random buttons in random order. Actually, scratch that. They sometimes push the wrong random buttons.
  9. Even though no one on Starfleet is good at anything, Worf and Data should have their own show, something like Bosom Buddies or the Odd Couple (Data as Felix, Worf as Oscar).
  10. The Traveler is the most unintentionally creepy “sympathetic character” I’ve seen in ages. Watching him stare longingly at the boy is simultaneously horrific and priceless.

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