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My Spambot Fan Base

my spambot fan base - Carolyn Daughters -

Got a website? Then you surely have a spambot fan base. Not to throw down the gauntlet, but I bet mine is better than yours.

When you write a blog, you’ll periodically receive comments from your readers. Some of your readers will be friends and family. (“If I don’t read Carolyn’s blog, she’ll stop talking to me, which may sound appealing but will ultimately be more of a pain in the ass than it’s worth.”) Some of your readers will be people who’ve been told about your blog from said friends and family. (“Hi there! Your sister told me to read your blog so I’m reading your blog even though I’m not really sure why.”) Or people who’ve happened upon your blog. (“Why is this gal writing about dictionaries?”) Or people who aren’t really people. As in spambots. I’m not trying to brag, but my spambot fan base is quite strong.

Spambots are awesome. First off, they’re reliable. Want comments on your blog? Look no further. Second, they have fabulous names. Tom Smith and Sue Jones are not spambots. Solai Luke, Dr. Lovan Zoiberg, and Lizzette Crisci are spambots. Third, spambots dispense handy advice. Here’s some of the advice I’ve received.

Florencio Ralane says, “I certainly like your website but you need to take a look at the speling on quite a few of your pots, many of them are rifle with spelling issue and I to find it very bothersome, to tell the reality of the punctuation however, I’ll surely come back again.”

Worthy insights, Florencio. In the future, I’ll spend more time checking the speling, on my blog pots, I’ll check the reality of the punctuation too, run-on sentences with random punctuation, piss me off.

Pasternak Eady says, “I am not sure where you are getting your information, but good topic general. You needs to spend some time understanding more and learning much more. Thanks for fantastic info anyway I was looking for this information for my mission and now have it though I missing it too.”

Spot on, Pasternak. While I do have good topic general, I admit that my understanding and learning time is minimal. I find it rewarding, however, that I’ve helped out with your mission, which is to populate comments sections of websites with phishing links to your porn site. I want to give back to the community, and you are not-quite-living proof that I’m doing just that.

Hedy Bleimehl says, “I would like to thnkx for that efforts you might have place in creating this weblog. I’m hoping the same high-grade website submit from you in the upcoming as well. In fact you’re creative creating abilities has inspired me to create my own website. Truly the running blog is spreading its wings quickly. Your creation is actually a great example of it.”

No, Hedy, thnkx to you! My creative creating abilities have always been my most creational creation. The fact that you recognize my running, wing-spreading, and (god-willing) airborne blog as a high-grade example of “it” is very gratifying indeed.

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