Manhattan apartment phishing involves 1,497 unscrupulous rental agents doing something with something in order to accomplish something. I’m using Excel spreadsheets to document what’s what.
I’m in Midtown Manhattan helping my friend Sharron find some new digs. She’s enrolling in the School of Visual Arts (SVA), which means she’s moving from Denver to NYC.
To help Sharron find a pad, I contacted 1,497 rental agents in Midtown, the Lower East Side, and Brooklyn. That’s an exact number. Or rather a fake exact number. I could totally cite the real number if I wanted to because I listed all the agents in a spreadsheet. I love spreadsheets. Rows and columns of detailed info that lay some semblance of order atop the day-to-day crazy.
But I digress. Spreadsheets apparently make me do that. Spreadsheets rock!
Anyhow, I gave them my Yahoo email address for contact purposes. The agents, not the spreadsheets. Giving my email address to spreadsheets makes no sense. Try to keep up with me here, okay?
To recap, I made progress! Yee haw! (That’s what we say in Denver when we’re excited. New Yorkers just grunt.)
Then the emails and texts started coming in.
Everyone I’ve Ever Met: I just got a spam message from you.
Everyone: A spam message was just sent from your email address. To everyone. As in, every single person on the planet.
Everyone: If I were a living, breathing person instead of a collective Greek chorus created for the purposes of this blog post, I’d kick you.
C: There’s no need for threats of violence.
Thus far my investigation has uncovered the following two possibilities:
- One of the 1,497 rental agents busted into my email when I wasn’t looking and went Manhattan apartment phishing, spamming every single person on the planet.
- Every single person on the planet conspired against me, borrowed my laptop, and spammed themselves. I have fully documented both theories in an Excel spreadsheet.
Everyone: You’re an idiot.
C: I don’t like your collective attitude. I think I need to update a few things in my spreadsheet.
Everyone: It’s called phishing, you moron. And also subpar password management.
C: Hush. I’m creating a new spreadsheet column, and I need to focus.