I’ve been receiving texts from unknown persons. “Hola Carolyn.” That’s the entire message. I’m bothered by the fact that I don’t know who’s greeting me. I’m also bothered by the missing comma after “Hola.” Dude (or madam), a comma should separate a direct greeting and a person’s name. Grab your grade school grammar book from that box of childhood mementos your mom is keeping for you in the bug-filled basement of her house and study up.
Now, a couple of times these wily unknown persons texted “Hi Carolyn,” and my level of interest in their identities dipped sharply. Turns out that “Hola” was working in the writers’ favor. Foreign! Travel! Adventure and excitement! I’m still waiting to receive a “Bonjour Carolyn” text.
That brings me to yesterday. I got a “Hie Carolyn” text from yet another rando. I was impressed by the implied urgency til I realized it was probably a typo.
On a related note, I’m going to go full-on Lord of the Rings and start using the word “hie” in everyday conversation. Hie, wayward client, the Eye of Sauron is upon three! Payeth thy ov’rdue bill immediately!
It’s going to be all kinds of awesome.