I got three calls from the Denver Center for the Performing Arts (DCPA). Actually Sarah (?) got three calls from the DCPA Denver auto dialer.
[Carolyn picks up the ringing phone.]
DCPA: Sarah, this is the Denver Center for the Performing Arts. How are you this morning?
C: You’ve dialed the wrong number. There’s no one here by the name of Sarah.
DCPA: Is this Carolyn?
C: Whoa. Spooky.
DCPA: We meant to call you, not Sarah.
C: Right on. It’s all coming together now.
DCPA: You saw our production of The Merry Wives of Windsor.
C: Are you sure?
DCPA: Yes. We’re calling because we’re hoping you enjoyed it.
C: I’m hoping the very same thing.
DCPA: In fact, we’re offering discounted tickets to our current production of The Taming of the Shrew to loyal patrons like yourself.
C: Maybe Sarah’s the one who saw The Merry Wives of Windsor?
DCPA: No. My records show that you did. I think you’d also enjoy the performance of The Taming of the Shrew.
C: By “also,” you’re suggesting I enjoyed The Merry Wives of Windsor, which at present I can’t confirm or deny.
DCPA: I can understand your confusion. However, I can confirm that you will enjoy The Taming of the Shrew. It’s set in the 1950s.
C: That is a big selling point. Now when you say “set in the 1950s,” do you mean Kate and Petruchio are dressed like the characters in Dragnet? Or like Burns and Allen? Ozzie and Harriet? The Lone Ranger and Tonto?
DCPA: I don’t know how to answer your question.
C: I don’t know how to answer your answer.
DCPA: Ok, well perhaps it’s a little like the Liz Taylor and Richard Burton film version of the play.
C: Perhaps it is, but I’ll never know. I’m going to pass. I can’t afford to see plays I won’t recall attending afterward.
[Several hours later the phone rings.]
DCPA: Sarah, this is the Denver Center for Performing Arts. How are you this afternoon?
C: I believe you’ve dialed the wrong number. There’s no one here by the name of Sarah.
DCPA: Is this Carolyn?
C: Yes. We spoke earlier today.
DCPA: Yes, I recall. You couldn’t talk at that time because you were cooking something.
C: Really? I have three things in the fridge and I have no idea if the burners on the stove even work.
DCPA: Do you have time to talk now?
C: Let’s cut to the chase. I’m not interested in seeing any plays, including the 50s production of The Taming of the Shrew.
[Two hours later the phone rings.]
DCPA: Sarah, this is the Denver Center for Performing Arts. How are you this evening?
C: Fine.
DCPA: We’re calling because you saw our production of The Merry Wives of Windsor.
C: I hear I really enjoyed it. According to the Denver auto dialer system you have set up, that is.
DCPA: That’s what we were hoping! In fact, we’re offering discounted tickets to our current production of The Taming of the Shrew to loyal patrons like yourself.
C: I heard it’s set in the 1950s, though I’m guessing it’s more Lucy and Desi-ish than Liz Taylor/Richard Burtonish, since Liz and Richard filmed their version in ’67 and wore Renaissance duds instead of platform shoes and Nehru jackets. That’s according to IMDB. The part about the year their version was filmed, I mean. IMDB didn’t have anything to say about late-sixties clothing styles. Though I would have loved to have seen Liz screeching “If I be waspish, best beware my sting” while stomping around in bellbottoms and a tie-dye shirt.
DCPA: Sarah, I’m not following what you’re saying.
C: That happens a lot.
