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Corporate B2B Marketing Strategies Are Confusing

corporate b2b marketing strategies -

I teach writing and digital marketing courses, build corporate B2B marketing strategies, and write for businesses.

POP QUIZ: What do I do for a living?

If you said membrane technology/water filtration expert, you would be ever so slightly off the mark.

And yet someone tried to hire me to lead a membrane technology project having to do with something or other. (They explained the something or other, but I couldn’t understand most of what they were saying.) Along those lines, you’ll be shocked to hear that I turned down the job.

Now, I get this confusion over my profession more often than one expect. To be fair, I am very sciency. I once got an A in a high school science class. This was not an AP course or an honors class, mind you. The class wasn’t even called biology, chemistry, geology, or botany. It was just called “science,” which is what classes are called when the people enrolled are too stupid to be enrolled in a class with an actual purpose, direction, focus, or multi-word title.

To be fair, I barely recall taking science in high school. I do, however, remember taking several high school classes called “Memorizing Sciency Things Just Long Enough to Pass the Exam.”

Not to brag, but I’m an awesome short-term memorizer. Test me.

You could tell me all about Rhoda Mae Bedlamite (pronounced Bed-la-muh-tee), your third cousin once removed, who OD’ed on Vicks after taking a job as a professional medicine taster in a cough medicine bottling plant in order to fund the purchase of an aviary and slingshots for Wyatt Earp Bedlamite, her 33-year-old shut-in son, after her husband left her for the psychologist they had hired to cure Wyatt of his lifelong fear of swine and his associated anti-porcine-based Angry Birds addiction. Tell me anything you like. I’ll remember most of the details. For a short while, that is.

That’s why I’m so good at science. Information that makes no sense is awesome so long as that information can be memorized. Science!

Which brings me back to my original point. Well, not really, but let’s pretend it does for the sake of wrapping up this post. I’m going to argue that it’s 103% impossible for someone to talk to me about corporate B2B marketing strategies and come away thinking I’m employed in the field of science.

You may be thinking “103% impossible—why that’s impossible!” Good catch. It’s actual 114% impossible.

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