What would Colorado secession look like? The flat, boring eastern part, a Colorado, Nebraska, Kansas combo deal (Conekan), and the mountainous western part called Rouge.
Texas has petitioned to secede from the union. For the four hundredth time. Similar requests have come from Colorado, Arkansas, South Carolina, Georgia, Missouri, Tennessee, Michigan, Oregon, New Jersey, North Dakota, Montana, Indiana, Mississippi, Kentucky, North Carolina, Alabama, and New York.
If North Dakota left, would anybody even notice? The cool thing is that North Dakota’s departure would make room for Puerto Rico’s entry into the union, which would be a win-win for people who love cruise ships, hurricanes, Ricky Martin, and the word “archipelago.”
I’m hoping all 18 states go through with it, as I’ve always wanted to live in a foreign country. Plus, I’ve been to every one of the states listed above (except for North Dakota, damn you), which will effectively double the number of countries I’ve visited thus far in my life. En masse state secession is like a bucket lister’s dream. I wonder what language we’ll speak in the new nation of Colorado. I hope it’s French. If so, maybe I’ll petition the national government to change the country’s name to Rouge.
In fact, Colorado secession might mean that the state would divide into two states, the eastern, boring, flat part, which can go all Benelux and join Nebraska and Kansas as Conekan, while the mountainous part of the state, Rouge, pulls a Switzerland and has its own currency and opens a bunch of banks and keeps mountain goats as pets and stays out of every damn mess happening elsewhere in the world.
As a Colorado resident, I’m behind this plan 100%. I’ll be a loyal citizen of Rouge while ignoring (usually) and making fun of (periodically) Conekan.
A girl can dream …
