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Cards Against Humanity Black Friday Sale 2

More than 13,000 people gave $71,145 as part of the Cards Against Humanity Black Friday sale. In exchange, they got nothing. Most people gave $5. Some gave more. One person gave $100.

$71,145. Yup.

On a completely unrelated note, I would like to offer “blank sheet” editing services for $5 a page. Feel free to give more — don’t feel limited by the $5 per page suggestion. Also, I could really use $71,145, so don’t feel you need to limit yourself to purchasing just one page. Buy multiple unedited pages. Now, $71,145 may sound like a ton of cash, but you get a lot of unedited pages for your money. 14,229 unedited pages in fact.

For the uninitiated, 14,229 pages equates to roughly 3.5 million words. War and Peace has only 587,287 words, and it’s a big damn book. I know because it took me a month to get through it while working in a Department of Defense mailroom. Just to make sure we don’t get too far off track (my bad), I’m offering like seven times as many words as War and Peace. Think of the value!

Even A La Recherche du Temps Perdu by Marcel Proust has only 1,267,069 words. Again, pay me $71,145, and you get three times that amount. Mission Earth by L. Ron Hubbard also has about 1.2 million words, and that dude launched an entire weirdo religion where people like Tom Cruise and Kirstie Alley donate heaps of cash to somebody for something. Again, not to repeat myself ad nauseum, but I’m going to deliver you three times the unedited value of an unedited A La Recherche du Temps Perdu or Mission Earth.

14,229 unedited pages. You’re not going to find a deal like this anywhere else. I mean that. Don’t miss out.

Like the Cards Against Humanity Black Friday sale folks, I also promise to document the purchases I’ll make so’s you know where your money went.

Along those lines, here’s how the CAH folks spent their cash.

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